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Cali Girl- Property of MsElaye

Welcome back lil' doggy!

Posted on 2006.05.16 at 15:13
Current Mood: amusedamused
I've been away for way too long. I've kept all my thoughts either built up or I rattled them off to my poor victim friends. Sorry guys! Everything is going pretty smoothly. I'm pleased to say that I will be finishing this semester off with an A& 2 B's. (pat myself on the back) I'm starting summer school June 5 so that's cool to. And I'll be ending work on May 26. Who knows what the future holds, but I'm excited for whatever it may hold.

On Friday Grassroots and I hooked up for a 2 hour lovefest. (Big Smiles)

other than that things are just things. Nothing spectacular.

Raven- Property of MsElaye

1-800 call EDD

Posted on 2006.04.27 at 12:02
Well I learned earlier this week that I'm going to be laid off from my job in like two weeks which is a freakin bummer. I was hoping to stay here until I finished this year of school, but I guess not. This time I'm not so scared of being unemployed like I was when I was 19. I didn't know how to cope. I went into a severe depression which was cured when I eventually got a job. This time though I'm a little more chilaxed about the whole thing. So far I've been pretty Pro active in my search for a job. Tomorrow I have three interviews. I'm hoping to get the Accounbting job in LA. It pays $13-15 an hour, which is pretty good. I also mailed out my application to become a Housing Specialist for the City of Compton's Housing Authority. It would be a MAJOR blessing to get that one, because it pays $3480- $4072 a month/ $21.75- $25.45 an hour.

Keep you fingers crossed.

Raven- Property of MsElaye
Posted on 2006.04.24 at 08:00
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Dance, Dance- Fallout Boy
So my Dad was on the news yesterday protesting against illegal immigration in Lamiert Park. This isn't the first time he's been on the news: he's protested the removal of the Ten Commandments in Alabama (America's Black Forum)& abortion, and he's been seen at many Republican gatherings supporting Bush. He's kind of a local celebrity I guess you would say.

Other than that this weekend was quiet and peaceful. I registered for summer school (which I'm so excited about) and I had Apple pie last night (delish).

Oh, I didn't hear from Grassroots this weekend which is probably a good thing because I'm a tad annoyed with what I consider to be his lack of interaction in his kids life. I know it's not any of my business, but I just hate to see that kind of behavior.

Chillin' 1- Property of MsElaye

I need a pass to go home!

Posted on 2006.04.20 at 10:12
Current Mood: sicksick
I think I'm getting sick. My head is hurting, and I feel stuffy and weak. I'm probably going to go home early.
Last night I fell asleep when i got home, but I didn't wake up by 8 like I planned so I missed my shows.

I hate feeling like this. It's horrible.

Raven- Property of MsElaye
Posted on 2006.04.19 at 12:20
Current Mood: stressedstressed
Current Music: No, No, No (You don't Love Me)- Dawn Penn
Okay, so I followed through with my sleep plan and I'm still tired. i don't understand where this sleepiness is comin' from? I had a good breakfast and took my vitamins so why am I not energized like I normally am? I'm a little annoyed by this. I don't want to be sleepy this early in the day, but I can't help it.

My Dad called me this morning and told me that he found out my Mom, little sis& bro are living with my little sisters friends Mom. I wont even begin to go into the full thing, but I was totally infuriated upon hearing this. I called her all kinds of lazy B's and what not because she is. She is THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD. She does not deserve to raise my little sister and brother. Hell she didn't even deserve to raise my other little sister and I. (Em& I are both grown now so Dri& Manny are left) I'm afraid she's going to screw them up like she did us. It's probably inevitable, but I just hope they're as strong as I am and able to deal with the slew of childhood issues that will attack them later on in life.

I'll continue this post when I get back from lunch... Okay I'm back.

I just scored this Really cute comforter set (w/ pillow shams and a bedskirt) for only $34.99. Freakin Great!

Anyway, I'm just way beyond through with my Mom. She needs to be committed to an Insane Asylum. If I could figure out how to get her there I would do it.

Anyone got any ideas?


Raven- Property of MsElaye
Posted on 2006.04.18 at 16:15
Current Location: la la land
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: The Greatest- Cat Power
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sleepy! I can barely keep my eyes open. At least it's almost time to go home so I can sleep til' 8 then wake up and watch 2 hours of TV and sleep again. I'm in dire need of my bed right now!

Raven- Property of MsElaye


Posted on 2006.04.17 at 08:00
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: It's been awhile- Staind (one of my FAVORITE songs)
Yesterday, went pretty well. I didn't attend church though. As usual my Mom pulled one of her famous stunts. My cousin is in from Japan and was going to have his daughter christened at our family church, so my Mom said that services would start at 11. I was fine with that. So my little sister spent the night so I could do her hair, nails and make up and we were ready by 10:30. 11o'clock passes, then 11:45 rolls around and finally my Mom calls and says she's on her way. I called her back and asked if we were still going to church and she was like yeah, but I didn't want to sit through the whole service I just wanted to attend the christening. I was so heated, because I find it to be very rude and inappropriate for you to walk into church an hour late because you don't want attend the rest of the service. So I explained this to her and declined to go because I did not want to be a part of that. I didn't want to present myself in that way so I declined to go and stayed home.

I have to say that I expected this kind of bullshit from her because she always pulls this kind of crap. I literally hate being around my Mom. If I had the time I could write a freakin novel on the tumultuous relationship we have. The worst thing about it is that I could understand her actions if she was on drugs or an alcoholic, or grew up in a horrible home situation, but that's not the case. My mom has never done drugs and rarely drinks (if she does it's wine), and she grew up as upper middle class so I don't understand what the hell is her problem. All I know is that I really dislike her with a passion, and I have no intention whatsoever of mending our relationship because she's screwed it up and me as well way too bad. You know I was telling my little sis that one of my earliest memories of Easter was being thrown out on our front porch in a slip with my hair a fuckin mess at 9yrs. old and crying my eyes out. It wasn't until my Dad heard me crying and yelled at my Mom, that I was let back inside. That shits really sad. Like I said I could write a novel.

The highlight of yesterday was that Grassroots came over. We talked and did "other" things which is amazing all in it self, but I was glad to see him. I just wish he could have stayed over, but he has work and so do I so... Eventually we'll spend the night together like we used to.

Oh, one more thing happend... on Saturday I went to class and got one of my test back which I got another A (96%) on. I'm just so proud of myself man! I'm a little delayed in actually starting college, but I'm only 22 so I have enough time. I'm just glad that I've matured enough to finally buckle down and do it. I always knew that I was really intelligent (I was reading Kindergarten books at 3yrs. old), but I was starting to doubt myself and feeling like my potential was going to waste by me bullshitting around& procrastinating when it came to school. Now, that's changed and I'm so looking forward to summer school. As usual I'll keep you updated.


Cali Girl- Property of MsElaye
Posted on 2006.04.11 at 14:01
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Go- Common
Tags: ,
Okay maybe I spoke to soon about Grassroots. Well, no I didn't. I meant everything I said about him it's just that he pissed me off this weekend. He was supposed to come over and him I and I were going to go the beach enjoy the amazing weather and grab lunch, but that didn't happen. I was so annoyed and pissed because I was going to surprise him and challenge him to a game of Basketball. (He doesn't know that I actually enjoy playing leisurely. Plus that one-on-one contact doesn't hurt either. ;0)) He didn't call me Saturday, nor Sunday, and I knew he couldn't make it because of his girlfriend, but that's no excuse for not calling me. So finally I get a call on Monday, and I'm just like whatever. So I made sure to cut the conversation short because I didn't want to hear any petty ass excuses, and I haven't talked to him since. Either he'll call me or I'll call him when I get around to it. I'm very busy and he should feel blessed that I even make the time for him, especially since I don't have to. (I'm being cocky. So what.)

Grassroots if you read this remember I'm upholding my end of the bargain and you're falling short on yours. So step it up! Oh and for the love of God return my JayZ& T.I. CD's to me. Muchas Gracias!

The other thing that happened this weekend was that I looked over my "list" and realized that I haven't nearly dealt with as many guys this year now that I'm technically w/o any "bestfriends" (this could explain my relationship w/ Grassroots). I kinda miss my old bestfriend Hilman. We had a lot of fun together. Imagine a Black and White female cast of a less extreme Jackass combined with the Simple Life and you've got us. Ton's of fun, crazy pranks, love to party and bestfriends/ sisters with an insanely cute dog, Crenshaw. (We "broke up" in May 05' because I found out through her bestfriend, who came to visit from Colorado (ick), that she had been talking crap behind my back. I know this for a fact, because Deb knew things about me and I've never said anything more than hi to her when I answered Hilman's phone. I couldn't believe she had acted the way she did, but then I began to reflect and there were signs that she could be a shady person, but I overlooked them. I try to look for the best in people. I have to admit that despite knowing the things she said or did, I still have love for my sister. She was there for me at times when I needed her, so for that reason alone I can't completely diss her. We haven't spoken since May, and I'm not sure we need to speak again. I'm not even sure that I would know exactly where to begin or if I could trust her again. Hell she might feel the same way. I don't know... I guess I just needed to get this out of my mind.


Cali Girl- Property of MsElaye

Grassroots ain't always about politics!

Posted on 2006.04.05 at 08:12
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
Current Music: Let Me by J. Scott& Will.i.am (Sergio Mendes: Timeless)
Tags: ,
So my ex, we'll call him Grassroots, came over last night... well I should give a little brief history first:

A few years ago, actually February or March 2004 Grassroots and I got together, then something to personal to reveal happened and we broke up in late May. Then in August I called him up and we "got back together" (I put that in quotes because I really don't think we technically got back together), and in September I found out he was 34 not 31, had 2 kids and his ex girlfriend was living with him (the operative phrase here is FOUND OUT. I was later told that she was living there because she had lost her place and needed somewhere to stay). So after that I was completely through until December 2005 when I called AGAIN (Why do I love running my head into brick walls and expecting it not to hurt?), and we talked about the the previous incidents and I was satisfied with the outcome. We also agreed, or should I say he agreed to be completely honest with me from now on (I'm more understanding than some may think), oh and I didn't mention that he has a girlfriend (Yeah, I said it he has a girlfriend!), so I know my part or role in this situation. Now Grassroots and I have this thing going which is way more mental and emotional than physical. (At least that's the way I feel, but if you ask him I'm pretty sure he'll agree.)

So, back to the present day: Last night we talked and I got to vent about a lot of the things that's been on my mind these past few weeks, and like always, he offered me great advice and feedback. This is one of the things I love about him, no scratch that, this is one of the reason I love him. I can be myself and ramble on and on about stuff from what new styles I think are hot, to my feelings about the state of my people, to men's true feelings on wanting a "natural" woman, to family issues and he will always listen (and I know he is listening because of his replies), and not think I'm some overly obsessive pretentious loquacious nut. =0) (By the way, he so kindly reminded me last night that when he first met me I wasn't as into politics and world issues as I am now. His words: You used to like to talk about things, but you would never go out and get a book and read up on it. LOL! Yeah, buddy you're right I was too turned on listening to you speak.)

I watched him a lot last night, though he probably didn't know it, because I was busy running around my messy house trying to clean up (I haven't had time) and I realized though Grassroots has his faults and may not be the right man for me in a relationship sense, he's the right friend for me. I appreciate the fact that we've experienced some crazy shit, and still can connect on a much deeper level than him or I being great bed buddies. I get pleasure from talking to him and having him around, and hope that in the future unlike my friends in the past (Hilman& Hodges), that he will be there. If he's not that's fine too, but he will have forever left an imprint on my heart.


Cali Girl- Property of MsElaye

My Mind! My Mind! What am I to do with you?

Posted on 2006.04.04 at 09:19
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Angie Stone- Stone Love
Tags: , , , ,
I'm contemplating and running my mind into the gutter by overly assessing life. That's what happens when you're intelligent, and caring, not just about yourself, or your family, state or country, but about the state of the world and your place in it. It kind of depresses you real easily because there's so much change that needs to take place and it's like: Where in the hell do I began to do my minute part? I have so many ideas& opinions and am struggling to put them all into a plan of action. Aaargh!(a big sigh) It would be so much easier going through life living in a bubble.

On the subject of school, I took my test in English and I felt pretty comfortable, so hopefully I'll pull off an A, maybe a high B, because I kind of ran out of time at the end so I just rushed through the last 5 questions.

This past week I was seriously thinking about getting dreads. At first I was so happy and gun ho on the idea, but as I kept thinking about a few things crossed my mind:
1. How versatile will dreads be (style wise)?
2. Will I be discrimintaed against in corporate jobs for having dreads and a nose ring?
3. Do dreads really fit my style?
4. Am I afraid of the long term commitment of wearing them or that I've been programmed to think that having them is too Black?
5. Will they really look as beautiful on me as they do on Goapele (she's my inspiration for wanting them)?
6. Why the hell am I putting this much thought into a hairstyle (Even though, I know for me this is more than just a do'. It's a pledge to my people)
You can imagine the many more questions I drilled myself with. Don't get me wrong I love wearing my hair natural (it makes me smile when I see all of my pretty waves and curls), but this is a step further than a fro'. Has anyone else felt this way? Please let a sistah know!


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